The Great Brewing Experiment

Well it's winter and I am officially bored, so I decided to take a stab at brewing my own beer. It was either that or stab my patients, I figured this was more legal, although slightly less satisfying. I just mixed it all up last night, and it was not too hard. I would say it took maybe an hour or so, with the most difficult part being sterilization. Usually being sterile is not hard for me, but that's a whole other story. As far as I can tell, the kit makes the whole thing pretty easy. Usually one would have to boil the hops and whatnot, but that is already done and condensed into an extract, so that's nice. Now the great wait begins. A minimum of 7 days for fermentation, then bottling, then another 7 days of carbonation, then a period of rest for the beer. The rest period will really be determined on how long I can resist drinking it. I imagine you, my loyal readers, will know when I have tested the new brew and all its poisonous contaminants by the hallucinatory blog that will be written that night. One can only hope.

I Hate the New Year

The new year is fun for about 2 hours before I pass out drunk on 1/1, then the real nightmare begins at work on the next business day. "What? You mean my insurance changed with the new year?" "I all ready me my deductible!" "I never got a new insurance card!" This is what I have to look forward to as the new year rolls around. The only thing I have slightly working in my favor is that 99% of my patients are on medicaid, and that really does not change with the new year. The rest of the morons will have to go dig through their trash to find those cards that they threw out or review their new coverage information that they never bothered to read. Boo-fucking-hoo to everyone that has a huge deductible. It's not my fault. Maybe you will be more grateful when your $200 co-pay goes back to $20 after your reach it, but I highly doubt it. Happy new year.

Christmas Spirit

Christmas is almost upon us. It's freezing out, snow is in the air, and the people of Hammond, Indiana have decided it's time to go full throttle on their Xanax and Vicodin before the holidays. In the last two weeks I have been told to suck a kindly gentleman's privates, have intercourse with myself, and compared to Satan (not Santa) himself. The Christmas spirit is almost too much for me to handle. I am pretty sure the Santa Clause of Hammond works at the Medicaid office. Parents probably take their kids to the office and have them sit on their case workers' laps so they can tell how their parents are too lazy to support them and they need free medications that they don't really need all year long. Talk about the present that keeps on giving, free health care. And by free, I mean I am paying for it. Sorry for the recent lack of blogging, I have been building up a lot of rage and it should start boiling over pretty soon, so there should be a plethora of blogging in the near future. Merry Christmas everyone.

World Cup Absence

Well just when I thought I was getting back on the blogging wagon, I fell right back off to watch the World Cup for the last few weeks. Now that there is a brief lull in the action, I thought I would try to get an entry or two in. And since we are on the subject, I'll talk a little bit about the World Cup. I was happy to see the United States make it out of group play, and play overall pretty good soccer. Despite some questionable calls going against them, they never bitched or gave up, they scored some goals and controlled their own fate. I really enjoy watching the US play soccer despite their sometimes mediocre play. They don't take dives, they don't embellish when they do get fouled, and they generally play as hard as they can for 90 minutes. It is more entertaining than watching the crybaby European and South American teams. As for the referee calls against the US, all I can say is that I used to be a referee, and it is tough to see everything that is going on on the field. Now that the US is out, I guess my new team will be the Netherlands just for a change of pace. On a personal note, I have to congratulate fellow blogger sampstar on his recent wedding. I am interested to hear about his new marriage complaints.

Two Posts In One Day

Due to a super long absence from blogging, I thought that two posts in one day might help to make it up for the three or four people who actually read this thing. I have moved pharmacies from Portage, IN to Hammond, IN. For those of you not familiar with Indiana, Hammond is where the movie A Christmas Story took place. And for those of your really not familiar with Indiana, Hammond is now nothing like the movie A Christmas Story. It's more like A Christmas Story where everyone speaks Spanish and instead of the kid sticking his tongue to a pole, it gets cut off in a gang retaliation. This is where I have decided to set up camp for my new "I don't care campaign". I have realized that in order to get fired from my job, I would probably have to stab a customer with a spatula and at least break skin. Nothing is going to make these Medicaid frenzied people happy, so I have given up on customer service scores. That being said, I don't plan on being rude to anyone who is pleasant, but if you are a ridiculous dick to me, then don't expect anything short of my minimal effort. My new store is actually a little less busy than my last one, so hopefully that will lower my stress level and alcohol intake, while simultaneously increasing my energy to blog. Only time will tell, but it's a step in the right direction.

Abraham Lincoln Was A Badass

I have meaning to write about this for a while, but I thought I would wait to see if the idea seemed less cool after about a month. It did not. I recently finished the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It is by the same guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It was told as a narrative of somebody who uncovers Lincoln's secret diary about his vampire hunting activities and ties it in to events that actually took place in his life. It was a good mix of history with what I suspect is a little bit of fiction. There are some pretty convincing photos in the book that make it not seem so far fetched, but with photo shop anything is possible these days. Definitely a good read if you are in the mood to set reality aside for a little while.

I Don't Know What People Did Before Refill Reminders

Well it is official, I have switched stores. I have moved from the 6th level of Hell to the 5th. I am pretty sure that is going the right direction. So far so good. I have filled on average about 20 less narcotics a day than I used to which could mean one of two things. Either there are less abusers in the area, or the abusers just can't afford the good stuff. I am leaning toward the second one, but either way, less for me to do. I did have a nice encounter with one of my new many Hispanic friends yesterday. It started off with her bitching that we shorted her husband pills because it was only the 16th of the month and he was all ready out of medication. When the bottle looks like it has been around since thalidomide scare, it is always a good idea to check the last fill date before proceeding. Upon close inspection, the last time the prescription was filled was on January 10th for a 30 day supply. When I told her this, and that he should have been out of the medication over a month ago, her only broken English response was that no one called to let them know he needed more and he has just been out of them. The only dumbfounded response I could come up with was to tell her the empty bottle is usually a good sign you need a refill. Dare I say that at this pace, people will not be able to take care of themselves within the next 10 years. I was this was an isolated incident, but it is not the first time I have had this conversation with a patient.