Sunday, November 22, 2009

Losing Blood = Losing Weight

Evolution has allowed my body and extra way to lose a few extra pounds. I have managed to lose weight by three different modalities all at the same time while running on the treadmill.
1. Running supposedly burns calories, which burns fat and allegedly weight is lost.
2. I sweat like a polar bear in a sauna, so I lose a lot of water weight while running.
3. The newest weight loss craze, is to just bleed excessively from my nipples while running.

I figure not only am I losing the liquid weight of blood, but my body has to burn off some energy to make new red blood cells. There are a few drawbacks to this new approach, however. If you wear white shirts to run in like I often do to mask the excessive sweating, you are going to end up with red streaks running down the front of your shirt, which may draw more disgusted looks than usual from fellow gym patrons. The other huge drawback is that it really hurts. Having salty sweat running into the wounds while running is unpleasant, and the shower afterward with high velocity water hitting the area is no treat either. I realize that remedies exist in order to prevent the nipple bleeding, but for now I think I am going to just look at it as just another great way to battle holiday weight gain.

2 comments:

  1. I have seen this process in action and it is not pretty. However, I must say you look great, so it must be working, haha.

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  2. can't believe i missed this update. Quite the predicament on what shirt to wear, i can't imagine...red shirt shows sweat, white shirt shows blood.

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