Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Drive-Thru Society

I hate nothing more than the drive-thru at my store. A bunch of lazy ass people who should be getting more exercise can't walk twenty yards to get their diabetes/blood pressure medications. Evolution must be pissing its pants that it gave humans legs to move around with instead of just slapping two wheels onto our fat asses. The city where I work is filled with some prime examples of these sluggish people, but today I saw something that I could not believe. Something that shook my faith in humanity to the core. I am by no means a religious person, and I just enjoy all the commerical things that Christmas time provides, but even I was appalled when a recently errected sign outside of my pharmacy read these words "Drive-Thru Nativity Scene" with a big fat arrow pointing underneath it for all the big fat morons to follow. The redneck hilljacks in the area will love enjoying the holidays from their extended cab, confederate flag sporting pickup trucks. Nothing says I am lazy and have no self respect like blowing cigarette smoke in the three wise mens' faces while driving through a holy scene at five miles per hour. Happy holidays!

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Just A Little Holiday Grooming

While everyone is out enjoying traditional holiday activities such as shopping, eating, visiting, and abusing controlled substances; it is important to not forget about your own personal hygiene. That is why today I took some time out of my busy holiday schedule for some grooming. Now while many of you who know me are aware that the hair on my head might be disappearing as fast as the days until Christmas, the rest of my body is a virtual jungle. I do try to keep the wilderness in check most of the time, but sometimes the greenery is so thick even Al Gore would be impressed. Yesterday, I decided to try and put a more permanent solution to the problem, and with the help of a very understanding girlfriend decided to wax my back. After a little trimming around the shoulders to trim down some of the larger vines growing out, it was time for the waxing to begin. I knew there was going to be a little pain involved, but i figured would at least do the trick and keep me clean for a while. Truth be told, there was a lot of pain involved for removal of a small amount of hair. After several passes on the same spot, I am pretty sure all of my skin was removed, a few hairs were still there, and the waxing process was prematurely stopped. The rest of the job was done as it should have been done in the first place, with an electric razor. Just to make sure that everyone has a clear image of what was going on I decided to visually document the occasion for all to see. Do not view while eating, preparing to eat, or having recently eaten.

Before Grooming

Before Grooming

After Painful Waxing

After A Clean Shave

Sunday, November 22, 2009

Losing Blood = Losing Weight

Evolution has allowed my body and extra way to lose a few extra pounds. I have managed to lose weight by three different modalities all at the same time while running on the treadmill.
1. Running supposedly burns calories, which burns fat and allegedly weight is lost.
2. I sweat like a polar bear in a sauna, so I lose a lot of water weight while running.
3. The newest weight loss craze, is to just bleed excessively from my nipples while running.

I figure not only am I losing the liquid weight of blood, but my body has to burn off some energy to make new red blood cells. There are a few drawbacks to this new approach, however. If you wear white shirts to run in like I often do to mask the excessive sweating, you are going to end up with red streaks running down the front of your shirt, which may draw more disgusted looks than usual from fellow gym patrons. The other huge drawback is that it really hurts. Having salty sweat running into the wounds while running is unpleasant, and the shower afterward with high velocity water hitting the area is no treat either. I realize that remedies exist in order to prevent the nipple bleeding, but for now I think I am going to just look at it as just another great way to battle holiday weight gain.

Friday, November 20, 2009

UPDATE: Katamari Has Arrived

Well I know you have all been on pins and needles, I finally received Katamari Forever this week. It is just as I remembered only now it has better graphic and I get to play it on a huge TV. The storyline is similar to the first one except now you are on a mission to not only replace the stars in the galaxy, but to also help your dad (the king of the galaxy) regain his memory. There is a hint of incest in the game where you seem to get unusally close to some of your cousins, but you have to keep in mind this game is pretty much designed for Japanese people. I'm not sure what the means, but it probably measns something. If you have a history of seizures I would net recommend this game without a loading dose of Depakote, though, there are lots of bright flashing colors. The dialouge also is rather humorous and leads me to believe there is a lot lost in translation for the original Japanese version. The controls are a little tricky, but for a game where the only point is to roll a sticky ball over items, you have to add a challenge somewhere. The game incorporates the motion sensors in the PS3 controller so that you can now jump by jerking the controller in an upward direction while playing. Overall, I am rather pleased, it is everything I expected with a few bonuses.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

401K of Nickels

Yesterday was a pretty exciting day for me. While working the cash register at work, (I went to school 7 years to learn how to do that) I saw something that made what is left of my hair stand on end, a buffalo nickel. I quickly fished a regular nickel out of my pocket at switched it out for this treasure. I was sure that retirement was only a few days away and came home to check the value of my find. It turns out a 1936 buffalo nickel is worth 35 cents. Seven times it's original value! A few million more of those and I will be all set, and the corporate fools I work for will be none the wiser of my profits. Suck it bitches!

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Katamari Forever

I just ordered Katamari Forever on Amazon, and I must say this is the most excited I've been since the last time I spanked the box. For those of you, let me rephrase, for most of you who don't know what Katamari is, it is a crazy Japanese game where you roll objects up into a gigantic ball so that they can become stars. The stars in the galaxy have all disappeard and as prince of the galaxy it is your job to gather objects large enough to replace them. The concept seems bizarre to say the least, but it is a lot of fun. You always start off as a really small ball rolling up things like thumb tacs and ants, but as your ball gets bigger you roll up larger objects like livestock and houses. Control is the main issue with the game, as in real life the bigger your ball gets the harder it is to control it. More posts will follow after the game arrives to see if I was justified in getting so excited. For right now, I will wait on pins and needles for general postal delivery, which will unfortunately be delayed one day due to Veteran's Day. Due to the current wars going on, I am going to let it slide this one time.

Monday, November 9, 2009

Sweet November

Not referring to the piss-poor movie staring Charlize Theron and Keanu Reaves, it has been a pretty nice little November so far. Playing 18 holes of golf in November while wearing a short sleeve shirt does not happen too often and may be the only thinking keeping me sane as the flu season nightmare continues. Nothing else to say right now, just happy about the golf outing.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

A Fine Frenzy

I went to A Fine Frenzy concert last night with some friends. I don't know if I have every been to a concert where I did not know any songs, it makes for a bit of a long night. Despite not knowing any lyrics, the concert was overall descent. The lead singer of Fine Frenzy definitely did creep me out a little bit. Very good singer, but bright red hair and lips that look like she just got done drinking wine from a can make for an interesting combination. One thing I did find myself thinking about halfway through the show is how much I like the word frenzy and how it does not get used often enough. The only time I ever use the word is to refer to a feeding frenzy, which usually occurs either during shark or around Thanksgiving. I am definitely going to try to fit it into everyday life more often, probably as something along the lines as a Vicodin frenzy. That's all for now, time for a little relaxation frenzy. (Good, but not great usage)

Friday, October 30, 2009

Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween everybody! Halloween is a great time to work in a pharmacy. Vicodin Fridays are the norm during the week, but throw in Halloween on a Saturday, and Friday turns into super crazy give me drugs to get me high fun! On a more positive note, I did just see the movie Paranormal Activity tonight, and I must say it was pretty disturbing. Now since this blog is new, I must explain that I am a bit of a coward when it comes to scary movies, but I dare say that this one was scary to the majority of the people in the crowd. It will probably only take a bottle of wine or two to settle the nerves for sleep tonight, so not too far from the usual. Hard to believe that a $15,000 movie could spawn $60 million after a couple of weeks. This pisses me off big time, I used to make kick ass movies in high school, but unfortunately there isn't a huge market for low budget remakes of Moby Dick. Everyone have a safe and fun Halloween.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

First Post

First blog post of my life, huge day for me. I have a lot of problems with everyone, and now I finally can air them out. Could be therapeutic, but my guess is it will be a lot of poor grammar, poor spelling, and bitching about work. There may be a nugget of humor every now and then, but I would not hold my breath. Just to clarify what a large portion of my complaints and grievances will be about, I am a pharmacist who deals with a not too intelligent public most of my life. When not getting yelled at for insurance issues or lost Vicodin, I drink heavily to not think about work, which is when I should be at my best blogging capacity. Well just a brief introduction of things to come for now. Blogging will continue as more adventures arise, until then thanks for reading.