Christmas Spirit

Christmas is almost upon us. It's freezing out, snow is in the air, and the people of Hammond, Indiana have decided it's time to go full throttle on their Xanax and Vicodin before the holidays. In the last two weeks I have been told to suck a kindly gentleman's privates, have intercourse with myself, and compared to Satan (not Santa) himself. The Christmas spirit is almost too much for me to handle. I am pretty sure the Santa Clause of Hammond works at the Medicaid office. Parents probably take their kids to the office and have them sit on their case workers' laps so they can tell how their parents are too lazy to support them and they need free medications that they don't really need all year long. Talk about the present that keeps on giving, free health care. And by free, I mean I am paying for it. Sorry for the recent lack of blogging, I have been building up a lot of rage and it should start boiling over pretty soon, so there should be a plethora of blogging in the near future. Merry Christmas everyone.

World Cup Absence

Well just when I thought I was getting back on the blogging wagon, I fell right back off to watch the World Cup for the last few weeks. Now that there is a brief lull in the action, I thought I would try to get an entry or two in. And since we are on the subject, I'll talk a little bit about the World Cup. I was happy to see the United States make it out of group play, and play overall pretty good soccer. Despite some questionable calls going against them, they never bitched or gave up, they scored some goals and controlled their own fate. I really enjoy watching the US play soccer despite their sometimes mediocre play. They don't take dives, they don't embellish when they do get fouled, and they generally play as hard as they can for 90 minutes. It is more entertaining than watching the crybaby European and South American teams. As for the referee calls against the US, all I can say is that I used to be a referee, and it is tough to see everything that is going on on the field. Now that the US is out, I guess my new team will be the Netherlands just for a change of pace. On a personal note, I have to congratulate fellow blogger sampstar on his recent wedding. I am interested to hear about his new marriage complaints.

Two Posts In One Day

Due to a super long absence from blogging, I thought that two posts in one day might help to make it up for the three or four people who actually read this thing. I have moved pharmacies from Portage, IN to Hammond, IN. For those of you not familiar with Indiana, Hammond is where the movie A Christmas Story took place. And for those of your really not familiar with Indiana, Hammond is now nothing like the movie A Christmas Story. It's more like A Christmas Story where everyone speaks Spanish and instead of the kid sticking his tongue to a pole, it gets cut off in a gang retaliation. This is where I have decided to set up camp for my new "I don't care campaign". I have realized that in order to get fired from my job, I would probably have to stab a customer with a spatula and at least break skin. Nothing is going to make these Medicaid frenzied people happy, so I have given up on customer service scores. That being said, I don't plan on being rude to anyone who is pleasant, but if you are a ridiculous dick to me, then don't expect anything short of my minimal effort. My new store is actually a little less busy than my last one, so hopefully that will lower my stress level and alcohol intake, while simultaneously increasing my energy to blog. Only time will tell, but it's a step in the right direction.

Abraham Lincoln Was A Badass

I have meaning to write about this for a while, but I thought I would wait to see if the idea seemed less cool after about a month. It did not. I recently finished the book Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. It is by the same guy who wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies. It was told as a narrative of somebody who uncovers Lincoln's secret diary about his vampire hunting activities and ties it in to events that actually took place in his life. It was a good mix of history with what I suspect is a little bit of fiction. There are some pretty convincing photos in the book that make it not seem so far fetched, but with photo shop anything is possible these days. Definitely a good read if you are in the mood to set reality aside for a little while.

I Don't Know What People Did Before Refill Reminders

Well it is official, I have switched stores. I have moved from the 6th level of Hell to the 5th. I am pretty sure that is going the right direction. So far so good. I have filled on average about 20 less narcotics a day than I used to which could mean one of two things. Either there are less abusers in the area, or the abusers just can't afford the good stuff. I am leaning toward the second one, but either way, less for me to do. I did have a nice encounter with one of my new many Hispanic friends yesterday. It started off with her bitching that we shorted her husband pills because it was only the 16th of the month and he was all ready out of medication. When the bottle looks like it has been around since thalidomide scare, it is always a good idea to check the last fill date before proceeding. Upon close inspection, the last time the prescription was filled was on January 10th for a 30 day supply. When I told her this, and that he should have been out of the medication over a month ago, her only broken English response was that no one called to let them know he needed more and he has just been out of them. The only dumbfounded response I could come up with was to tell her the empty bottle is usually a good sign you need a refill. Dare I say that at this pace, people will not be able to take care of themselves within the next 10 years. I was this was an isolated incident, but it is not the first time I have had this conversation with a patient.

Winter Grooming Update

The hair is growing back. It is itchy and very uncomfortable. I do NOT recommend trimming your back hair unless you have a plan on keeping it from coming back. If only the hair on my head grew back at this rate.

One Minute Rule

Today at work some lady asked me to switch her lid to a non-safety cap whilst I was in the middle of doing 3 other things. I smiled and took her bottles and started to do it. I knocked one of her bottles of pills on the ground and picked them up, stuck them back in the bottle and popped a lid on. When I went to had her back the bottle, she demanded new pills and was insulted that I would give them back to her. What I wanted to tell her was I drop pills on the ground all the time, usually into the garbage can too, but I sucked it up and got her some new ones instead. Next time you will get no favors from me, bitch.

Winter Olympic Update

Is everyone as pumped about the Winter Olympics as I am? If you just nodded your head, than you are more excited than I am. Not to take anything from the games or the athletes, I really do like when countries come together to compete. I like a lot of the new sports that have been added to spice things up such as snowboarding and pretty much anything where people are flying haphazardly through the air. I did have a moment last night when I was watching speed skating where I found myself hoping to see someone's limb get cut off though, and needless to say when it did not happen, I found my interest level drop considerably. I honestly don't want to see anyone get hurt, but when you think it is going to happen, and it does not, it is a huge let down. I also realized that one person has all ready died this Olympics, so I tip the hat covering my bald head to all the Olympic athletes competing, just don't tease me.

The New Love of My LIfe

After months of yearning and burning, long sleepless nights and secret internet research, I have finally made a decision that will alter my life for years to come, I bought a new vacuum cleaner. Not just any vacuum cleaner, a Dyson ball vacuum cleaner. It is everything I have ever dreamed of. I remember being a little kid, and sitting there wondering why vacuuming had to be such a chore, thinking there had to be a better way to clean, and now those dreams have finally come true. Seriously, this vacuum is amazing. I sucked up about 4 tanks full of crap out of my carpet, which I previously thought was relatively clean. The ball really does let you just turn corners with a flick of the wrist too, it is really easy to maneuver around. The only mental challenge I had with the purchase was spending an outrageous amount of money for a vacuum cleaner. Given the recent tragedy in Haiti, I found it hard to justify such an extravagant item, but then the answer hit me like a ton of bricks. What better way to help clean up Haiti, than with a super awesome vacuum cleaner. Moral conundrum solved, I can now sleep at night.

Racing Is For Suckers

While moving out the last remnants of my belongings from my parents house this week, I stumbled upon the only track ribbon I ever won in three years of high school. I tried to think of how many races I did over the period to get a percentage, because this is what I like to do while cleaning/drinking. I'd say I usually ran four races a meet. I would run the 800 meter, 1600 meter, 3200 meter, and the 3200 meter relay. Occasionally I would run the 400, but for argument's sake I'll leave that one out. There were roughly seven meets a year, 7 meets x 3 years, x 4 races = 84 races. So looking at it from that standpoint, I placed in about 1.2% of races I ever ran. Good, but not great. If memory serves me correctly, I finished 2nd out of three teams in the 3200 relay, so not only did I not do it all on my own, I'm pretty sure the top three finishers got ribbon, so I was destined to get one this race regardless. I have yet to finish last in any of the larger races I have ever ran in though, thank goodness for those walker people. Not not be surly about my racing career though, it was all just to stay in shape for soccer season. It is also the only the time I ever felt comfortable wearing such shor shorts. This racing edition of my blog has got me looking forward to racing season once the weather warms up, and this one I found called the warrior dash looks praticularly interesting. I will post the link at the end here, if anyone wants to do it or has any other interesting races to run this sumer let me know. http://www.warriordash.com/register2010_midwest.php

Long Time, No Blog

Sorry to all my faithful readers for the lapse in recent blogging, the holiday season ate up a lot of my time, and for those of you who did not hear, I also got engaged. I know, I was shocked too. Tensions have now eased dramatically on the home front, if only we could get the the Jewish and the Muslims engaged we would really have something going. It amazes me that they haven't brought me in for middle east negotiations yet. I received the Christmas presents of a 12 year old boy, and could not be happier about it. A new Nintendo DS, Super Mario Brothers Wii, Scattegories, and Taboo, were the real highlights. Just what I asked Santa for. The new year at work has brought all the fun I knew it would. The elderly and moronic have allready forgotten the definition of the word deductible, and the Medicaid patients haven't stopped bitching about their new $3.00 co-pay for hundreds of dollars of medications. Medicaid also seems to have gotten a little bit more stringent on Vicodin refills, which is what most Medicaid patients eat for breakfast, lunch, dinner, and afternoon snacks, so I look forward to all the fun the new year will bring. I hope everyone had a nice holiday and a happy new year. Hopefully news will now resume at a once a week flow.